Talk To Yourself. You May be Crazy if You Don’t.

 As a kid, I had learned, somewhere, somehow that people who talked to themselves were crazy. Fact; I had an aunt that talked to herself from time to time. She didn’t outright speak, she would say things, at an almost inaudible level, which would make you question whether she had said anything at all. I asked my mom if she was crazy and my mother said, “Does she answer herself”? I responded, “No but, at times she does giggle.” To which my mom replied, “Then, it seems as if she is just…happy.”

Genetics are powerful and not easily broken. Each morning I talk to myself; “Shalece, with your smart, beautiful, loving, compassionate and artistic self, what are you grateful for at this very moment?” Then I go on to answer myself, at length. I even giggle- honestly, sometimes I burst out in laughter. Why? Because when I think of all the ways that I am blessed, I can’t help but to be overcome with joy. Since good feelings attract more things to feel good about, I try to do this as often as I can throughout the day. I am doing as my mother said and, “Making myself happy.”

My Affliction:  Delayed Unlearning

For some unknown reason, unlearning doesn’t come easy for me. Specifically, my subconscious seems to be distracted by shiny objects and blinking lights at the hint of me consciously going in a different direction than I was previously programmed.

That said, all my life I have attempted to unlearn conditioned thoughts and ideas that I understand are only culturally or contextually correct. Those things were inculcated into my financial, parental and relationship blueprints. Quotes, motivational books, songs and movies that I watch resonate in my mind years afterward and yet, some of those behaviors remained unchanged. Until I had an epiphany.

When I was a child, talking to yourself meant you were “not all there.” As an adult, I have come to realize that if you fail to talk to yourself, and do it often, you just may go crazy. See, my aunt knew something I didn’t. You control your own happiness. What others think of you doesn’t matter. If you can make yourself feel good, at no one else’s expense, by all means do it. Don’t leave your opportunities to bliss on the table. Be happy now. Just the way you are. Back to the point.

Talk to yourself hatTalking to Yourself

Talking to yourself is much more important than speaking to others because what you say to others will depend directly upon the conversations you have been having with yourself. We tend to project.

The hat pictured above is an invention made by Kaye Hartman that gave a Ted Talk. She asserts that talking to yourself is so important that this device was created to help you tune in to what you have to say without the interruption of others.  

The best conversations I have ever had with others stemmed from those I first held with myself and usually started with these four questions:

Is what I’m about to say kind? It is true? Is it necessary? Does it improve upon the silence?

Sometimes we need to whisper to ourselves to remind us what not to say. Sometimes we need to make ourselves feel good. Speak positivity, love and light to yourself and that’s what we will receive from others. Go ahead, talk to yourself. With no shame. It’s what will likely keep us away from depression, loneliness and insanity.